10.06pm
I cannot find a word to begin.
I actually hunted through my 1828 Noah Webster's Dictionary in an attempt to help me start somewhere.
Anywhere.
I suppose this is a letter of sorts; perhaps, a prayer; a praise...
Beloved,
I love you.
I love you tirelessly. I have only begun to know the true endurance and the true grit and stamina required of sacrifice. I have only begun to understand the joy found in the deep love as a mother, the relief in throat thumping prayers at 2am...the true peace found in surrender. I have only begun to experience the true love and faithfulness of God. I have come to believe that only God can understand the true sacrifice that comes with a deep and true love for your child. So, you see, my love for you--you cannot know, and God's love for us is even more unfathomable.
When you arrive in the deserts of life, and you will arrive, be still and know that God is with you. I pray, for you, that you always recognize His presence and that you come to desire it. There is no darkness or loneliness that can come upon you that he will not speak into. He will call your name. You will have His pillar of fire by night to lead and warm you, and as a cloud to cover you by day. You will again be lead to the oasis in the place of scorching heat that seems to consume all of life. Believe that Life and Living Water are not dependent on our location. Life giving water for the deserts of our souls comes from God alone. His giving is not dependent on our location; His giving is dependent on his grace. Ask, and you will receive.
When people judge you, and they will, be still and know that God is with you. Listen to what they have to say, for wisdom is birthed from correction. You must know to sift their words lovingly with the help of your Creator, who made you and knows the number of hairs on your head. Take heart and be courageous, beloved...if the words spoken are true, persevere in the refiner's fire. He will not abandon you in the flame. He will restore your frame and your bones will be made strong. If their judgment is harsh, untrue and God confirms this, dismiss them in love. Pray for them until you no longer feel the sting of their false accusations. God knows the truth. He is the truth. Do not fear man; fear God.
When you go through the valley, and you will, be still and know that God is with you. Lift your eyes to the hills, where your help comes from. You will not find the way through the valley, where you remain in the shadow, without the light of his Word to lead you. His Word is a lamp for your feet, and a light for your path. The valley offers a time of level paths for your feet. You will climb the mountain, one step at a time...tomorrow. But, today, while in the valley, find rest for your soul. There can be no shadow cast where there is no light nearby. God will walk with you in the valleys. You are not alone.
When you forget the way to go, and you will, be still and know that God is with you. He will never leave nor forsake you. You may not know what step you need to take next, and you may spend your sorrows on wishing for tomorrow (or yesterday), but your direction given will be sufficient for today. God has not misplaced the way. He is the Way. Just drop anchor, seek his face with all of your strength, and believe he will ensure your safe arrival as he has intended for you.
When darkness covers you with fear, and it will, be still and know that God is with you. No weapon formed against you will prosper. Your Father in heaven will protect and defend you. At His name alone, your foes must surrender.
When wars rage in secret and no one else knows of them, and they will rage, be still and know that God is with you. There will be a time for peace, and at times to keep the peace you will need a sword. Make your sword the Word of the Living God, not the words of an angry tongue, the actions of a vindictive heart, or the thoughts of an arrogant mind.
If you question who is going to sustain you in your weariness, be still and know "I AM."
I love you endlessly,
Mommy
(The inspiration for this post came from the fierce love I have for my children, seeing life in the valley firsthand, and a very simple song that carries me.)
