I find it sad and profound that the Christian army is the only army that shoots it's own wounded. If I could recall the genius behind the genius in that concept I would attribute their genius.
I find it ironic that in the age of tolerance, I have seen and witnessed much adversity as a believer in Jesus Christ. I am not simply talking about my own personal life, but also amongst peers. My belief has become one that is-not-tolerated in many social circles. I have spent years trying to escape confrontation, in the hope of never offending someone. Yes, there have been times when I have had a knot in my throat that I could not swallow--and I would speak God's truths. Those times have been somewhat spontaneous...like vomit, actually.
Today, I was reminded that I was promised adversity as a Christian. I do not speak as a martyr, victim or senseless wander lust woman who finally found something that makes me feel safe. I do not speak as one with a gun ready to shoot any who come in to my camp...Christian or otherwise. I really just want to tell you something.
I understand how the notion of a man, who proclaimed to be God's son, and a people who gather and eat crackers and drink grape juice each week in remembrance of a horrific murder...it's friggin' weird. It really is. It's confusing.
Dare I begin to get in to the historical (not the Biblical) man of Jesus?
No.
Not tonight.
I do have a case to prove, but I hope, and hope for all who believe in the saving grace of God through Jesus, that our proof will be in our lives. I hope our proof is in the imperfections of our lives. Grace does not exist without struggle.
I smoke occasionally at nap time. I like TOOL, NIN, and Perfect Circle.
I have had sex out of wedlock. A lot of sex (which I am not glorifying...it broke my heart and made me wish I knew who I was).
And you know what? I have had some really horrible people do some really, really horrible things in my life that changed me.
I have spit in the face of a man that was not even a mirror of an actual man after I beat him. I gave him a sign, my sign, my sins for him to carry on his cross to his death. I gave him my sign to carry and post as a crime he never committed...
"Liar. Cheat. Adulteress. Drunk."
And then I watched him suffocate to death. And then I walked away and stayed silent holding a sign that read, "Truthful witness. Honorable friend. Virgin. Renewed. Redeemed."
And as I glanced back, I saw his sign had changed and read the wrongs of every horrible person and every horrible thing they had ever done...to me.
The horrible men that abused a little girl. The horrible men that abused an adolescent. The horrible man that stole my virginity...
and many other crimes that I can't stomach telling anyone, especially via blog.
Or maybe, not ever.
Now, I realize "another Christian telling how much they love Jesus" may not be the new approach, or the one to create curiosity in a heart; so, I will attempt another...
Let's start at the beginning. God made the world. God made the world in a specific order. Now, I know this is the beginning of controversy, and I, having no left brain, may not be the best person to answer your carbon dating questions. What I do know, is that everything, ever-y-thing has a design. If anyone brought to you a watch would you assume it fashioned itself? We recognize design. Why is that?
I am unable to, perhaps, ask or answer the left brain questions...but let me ask you something...
do you understand the complexity of bacteria flagellum?
God gave the world order. Accidents don't organize themselves. Everything had, has, will have an order because the very world you are living in was stamped with the thumbprint of a Creator--a just Creator. He adores his creation. He adores me. He adores you.
Why did Jesus come in to the world? To testify to the truth (John 18:33-38). What was on trial?
Truth.
To my knowledge, no other man has ever said to me, "You don't have to do anything but believe that I am going to die for you, so you don't have to die. And then, you're saved." Seem too good to be true? If you answer yes to that question, then, perhaps you should wonder if you have been deceived. Perhaps you can ponder if you were the reason Jesus came to testify-to-the-truth.
So, if truth was on trial, it was naturally offering a fight against lies.
The fact that Jesus stood trial fought against lies held in our world-views, our home-views, our social-views...our views on justice.
Carl Sagan (Humanist of the year, 1981) said, "Our future depends on how we understand the cosmos, we will follow the truth no matter where it leads."
I have yet to find a scientific theory that began with a hypothesis, followed by a theory, and finally ended in a law that ended with, "the only conclusion that 'it' all came from somewhere,but we don't know where," where that theory was, in fact, attributed to God. In other words..."follow the truth wherever it leads"...unless it leads to God.
If our universe was really a random chaos, what would be the need to study it? We study it's amazing design.
In my limited understanding of left brain workings, if the data does not match the "law," you then change your hypothesis--and start over.
Mt. Rushmore was not random.
Yet DNA was somehow random? How long did it take for us to evolve so that our brains would get the message we had been cut, so that our blood would clot, so that we would not bleed to death? How did humanity survive, at all, during this time?
Again, I truly have no left brain and boast NOT of any knowledge in this area...I am taking something for it's skin and bones (truly).
In The Life and Letters of Charles Darwin, Darwin wrote letters that he could not be anything but sick when he encountered small details; ie: the peacock feather.
Just the structure of an Amoeba has enough detail to fill over 1,000 Encyclopedia Britannicas.
Now, truly, I back away because I am no source for Molecular Biology, or the fossil record. What my right brain tells me, however, is that any theory lacking evidence simply becomes it's own theory, supported, then, by it's lack of evidence.
I should shut up, because this is really not my strength.
Let me, now, move to more of my right brain (where I will have spelling errors, and ironically, is much shorter).
Let's say you wanted to convince someone, more than anything else you have ever wanted, that you loved them. What would you do to show that love, to prove that love? Anything, correct?
Now, I am not talking about God's love- I am talking about the notion of an enemy that DOES do everything to block us from the TRUTH of a God, Yahweh, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
What would he stop short of in an attempt to deceive you?
Hypocritical Christians is too easy (and widely used).
Ugly hearted Christians (of which I AM one)?
Economic collapse?
Rape?
Incest?
Murder?
Losing your job? Family?
How about all of those starving kids (thank you, Francis Chan for reminding me that while I am asking God 'why are so many people starving,' God is asking me that question).
Storms? War?
You see a just God does not violate his own laws in which he created the world to run. He does not become a puppet master forcing us to follow and obey.
While he does voluntarily limit himself so we are able to experience his presence in this broken world, he does not stop his order...because he is just.
(Parts of this blog have been inspired by 'The Truth Project' and the very wonderful Del Tackett. I wish he was my grandpa.)
